Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
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