He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
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