"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Randomize
