Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Randomize
