I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Randomize
