I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
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