He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
