I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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