i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
This is classic penis vs brain.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I think pants incapable of making pants work
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize