the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
