My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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