butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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