she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
