I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
