he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
i think my cat just said my name.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Randomize
