Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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