i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
birth control should be required to get into college
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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