My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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