Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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