I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
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