do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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