Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Randomize
