remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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