umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
