im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Randomize
