Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Randomize
