Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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