wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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