dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize