Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
