There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
