whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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