We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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