I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I think my nap took me to another dimension
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Randomize
