I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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