did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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