Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Randomize
