Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
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