my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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