Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
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