As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
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you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
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