did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
