Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Randomize
