I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
this beer tastes like vomit already
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
