Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
