Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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