It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
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