I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
