Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Randomize
