I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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