i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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