the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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