i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
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