yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Randomize
