His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Randomize
