$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
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that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
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Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Lo siento on account of my penis...
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
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