do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Randomize
