You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Green mimosas i think yes
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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