I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Randomize
