When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
