I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
