between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
