Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
I think I am morally bankrupt
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Randomize
