need another drink. this is the easiest way
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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