I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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