I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Randomize
