i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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