I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
babies were throwing up all over the place
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize
